Dear CT,
Two things. One, she may really be condescending, and in this case, this article is all about why she may be this way. One guess is that if she’s an orthodontist, she is a high achiever and is used to being smart and right in many situations. She knows that nobody wants to date a know-it-all, though, so she is trying to temper her corrections of you with a super-nice tone. This comes off even worse, which is unfortunate for you, her and the relationship. She may be a womansplainer, which, despite not being an acknowledged thing, is a thing. (Mansplainers and womansplainers are equally as common across the couples I see.)
Two, you may be very sensitive to being condescended to. The stuff she is saying doesn’t sound that bad to me. Here’s a hypothetical that some of my clients like: if there were 100 clones of your girlfriend dating 100 different men, do you think all 100 would think she was being condescending? Probably not. There would be a normal distribution of reactions, ranging from guys who thought she was being sweet or cute (this is what she is going for, likely) to guys who would say, “Screw you, I’m not stupid.”
Where men would fall along this curve is based on their own personality, history, and preferences. If you experienced condescension in your childhood, like from a parent or sibling, or if you have low self esteem about your intelligence or anything else, you will be more triggered by her responses than other people would be. At the end of the day, this issue, like all couples issues, is about whether you and your girlfriend can learn to be more open with and understanding of one another.
I suggest that first you introspect about whether you are particularly sensitive to feeling condescended to. Indicators of this would be that you have felt this way with other women, at school/work, and/or at home growing up. Have others thought of you are sensitive or easily offended? Figure out whether your girlfriend is great enough in other regards that you can learn to accept her response style here, and even understand or appreciate that she is likely trying to come off sweet or cute.
If you remain continually triggered, though, try to tell her that you perceive her corrections of you to be condescending, and request that she just say, “No, it’s 11:19 here” without adding an endearment. She will probably feel surprised and hurt, though, so make sure it’s really important to you to end this behavior and worth making her feel that she has to watch her words around you. There is also a possibility that you are unhappy with your girlfriend in general, and this issue is a straw man that you are using as a way to exit the relationship. That would also require some introspection on your end, and if this is the case, end the relationship sooner than later without making her first jump through hoops to correct her communication style.
Thanks for writing in! Till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says, Keep Me Posted, Baby.